The page is table inversely...that is, non-master version lyrics are colored as master version, and vice-versa. I'll fix it up later, unless someone feels ambitious right now. -Trance Blossom 21:26, 6 December 2009 (UTC)
Could someone please double check my translation? It's been up for a while, and I wouldn't be surprised if there were multiple things wrong. Thanks :) Trance Blossom 18:05, 15 July 2009 (UTC)
Most of it looks good to me. However, and I'm by no means an expert so I might be wrong, I do have a few suggestions, if you don't mind. And allow me to apologize in advance because I'm probably going to sound very critical here even though I make a lot of mistakes myself.
It's not good for me to take a rest because I'm short of breath
I'm pretty sure that じゃない is rhetorical, making the meaning something along the lines of
Isn't it fine to take a rest when out of breath?
When I'm out of breath it's alright to take a rest.
Then there's also these two lines,
So let's take harsh and unpleasant experiences from our train of thought
And turn positive during the operation
which I believe aren't completely accurate. A 辛い事嫌な事受け入れるような思考回路 seems to me like (literally) a circuit of thought that is such as to [be able to] accept harsh and unpleasant experiences rather than a thought process from which these experiences have been taken away.
The thing that is 作動中/currently operating, is this 回路, and it is operating positively. In other words, the narrator's way of thought is such that it allows her to stay positive despite negative experiences. I realize that maybe you understood this already, but please bear with me. To translate the meaning of these two lines more acurately, how does
So I accept harsh and unpleasant experiences
while I keep thinking positively. sound?
(Although unfortunately the (electric) circuit + operating allusion is lost that way.)
Kind thoughts may not be able to survive in this world alone
Although in this world one can't survive with kindness alone, I hold this one belief.
So, "to myself, to generous people, kindness"
How about this?
That's right: "Easy on myself and kind to others."
Lastly, and this has nothing to do with the translation, the ro-maji look somewhat unnatural in some lines. I hope nobody minds if I change them?
--Nanashi 21:31, 15 July 2009 (UTC)
I doubt it. This wiki needs a standardization rule for romaji, as each has different formatting (where to put spaces is especially off). I also fixed up the translation via your suggestions, thanks a lot for your help. Trance Blossom 21:58, 15 July 2009 (UTC)
Agreed! That and the capitalization. Will bring it up in the forum once it's back up. --Nanashi 22:00, 15 July 2009 (UTC)
Oh, and the romanization of English words of course. Anyway, I forgot to mention this one line:
Even the city life becomes enjoyable, however
(I sometimes remember the hometown I left
Took the liberty of changing it to
The city life is enjoyable in itself, but
--Nanashi 22:24, 15 July 2009 (UTC)